Dates

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Alright, so lets talk first dates. Well, dates at all. I would lump dates into categories.

Dinner date- These are my pick for best first dates. This way you can get to know someone sufficiently, you get time to talk, but these leave little room for physical contact. They can also be awful if the person is dull and you can’t get out! Then, there is the issue of who is paying? And how do you choose where to go is always a chore!

Drinks- This seems to be the new thing in dating. Just go for drinks to see if you like the person. This gives an indeterminate amount of time. It could lead to your date drinking WAY too much, but it does allow you to leave a bit better than a full dinner. It keeps the financial responsibility low as well. If it doesn’t work, the guy (usually) isn’t out too much money. If it does work however, you can be at the bar late and close the place (as I did Saturday night)! I don’t mind this for a first date, although I prefer dinner, but later on in the relationship it also works, but it usually ends up the two of you on the couch with a 6 pack instead of the bar.

Coffee- Okay, well I think this is a cop-out! This isn’t a real date. First off, I don’t drink coffee. Second, it’s weird. It ends up feeling more like a job interview to me. It’s also kind of cheap. Okay and

Lunch date- yes I have had one of these as a first date before! It went well, but he never called. I think it’s because it also feels like a job interview. I think there might be something with the whole first dates during the day time thing. They can really suck. Emphasis on CAN though.

Activity dates-These are my favorite dates. They can be simple like going to the arcade or the zoo or something. I have tons of ideas for these from the art museum to shooting guns. Sometimes these don’t facilitate talking, may cost more and are hard to judge for how to choose for a first date. These really let you get to know someone though. Are they up for anything? Are they athletic or artsy or interested in the same things you are? Do they want to try new things? I think it really lets you learn things about someone that they might not come out and say.

Movie date- I guess this is technically an activity date, but it gets its own category. Avoid this for a first date, please! All kinds of things can go wrong. The only time I would allow this is if you went out to dinner, both talked about a movie you wanted to see and the date was going awesome, then go out for a movie after. Other than that, this date allows minimum talking and can be extremely awkward for physical affection. If you don’t want him to touch you, he will probably put his arm around you. Then you have to sit for 2 hours wishing his sweaty hand wasn’t so close to your face. Hahaha Plus, you could end up wishing for 2 hours that you were anywhere else in the world at that moment. Once you know someone well, these dates are perfectly fine! At some point you stop having so much stuff to talk about anyway and a movie is a nice relaxing time to enjoy together.

Double date- Please avoid this for a first date. It’s so awkwardddddd. Usually 3 people know each other and one is left out of that. Leave this for later!

Date with friends- See above, this is also weird. One friend decided to invite someone she was talking to online to a sports bar when we were watching football as a group. She showed us a pic and then the date showed up and looked nothing like the photo. I am sure It was extremely awkward for the date as well. A bunch of people they don’t know and they just wanted to get to know my friend. Well, let’s just say, there was no second date.

 

What is your favorite first date? How about later?

Tips for men!

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So GeekTaz commented on one of my posts and i decided to read her dating blog a bit! Her tips for men caught my eye! I wish i could reblog but its from another blog site. or i am just incompetent. one of the two. lol

http://www.frogkisses.net/tips-for-frogs-men/

I agree with all of them EXCEPT #9, i actually do like men that hunt and fish. Personal preference and i want them to take me hunting with them! My Christmas gift to myself is about to be a new compound bow. I like my men a bit more rugged. Just a preference. Kinda like my #9 might be that they keep their extremely mushy feminine side for later. hahaha! Or their hipster side i guess.

 

Also along the lines of #10, i think the best way to approach and talk to someone on the internet dating websites is a 3 part thing. I think this goes for both guys and girls. 

1. Start with a compliment. (You have a great smile, beautiful eyes, etc). This needs to be a real compliment, not the same one for each person. Try to make it personal!

2. Mention something you have in common. The neighborhood you live in, your hobbies, something. You need to make the connection! If you don’t make this vital connection, its hard for me to identify with you. Something as simple as ” I wish i could have all the hobbies you do” or “You seem like a hard worker” or “I enjoy yoga too, how is hot yoga?” or even “I see you like to read, i do too”. This can be a statement. 

3. Ask them a question. If you dont, you are leaving it off on a weird note. Ask something about their hobbies, or something.

You can certainly tie it into the above statement! Ask them if they would like to try out something else new, etc. Just leave politics and religion out of it! hahah My favorite question is “Where would you travel if you could travel anywhere?”, this is because i love to travel and i would like to know if they are the type of person who dreams big or small. Or if they like to travel or don’t really care. It also shows me if they have any imagination. Search the web for some cool getting to know you questions. There are loads out there. Basically, if you like the person, make them want to reply. 

Ryan is Married

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Okay, there are a few things in this world that i am NOT! One of them is a home wrecker. I believe in relationships and want them to last. I don’t go after other women’s men. That being said… Here are my friend’s Mary and Holly’s favorite dating story of mine… 

 

So I met this guy Ryan online, he was cocky, goofy and flashy. He met up with me at the golf course i was a beer girl at. He drove a convertible and also had an SUV and wore flashy sunglasses and clothes. He was an engineer for Honda and made fairly good money. We partied at Mary and Holly’s place and slept over in a drunken stupor a few times. He took me to fancier restaurants and then we went to mid-ohio racetrack for the indy 400 race. We had a blast, stayed overnight and partied like crazy. I even ended up with a wonderful UTI as a souvenir.

After that though, our romance fizzled out so i went to his place to retrieve my sweatshirt. When i was there i was talking to him and in an excited voice he said ” My divorce goes through tomorrow!!!”, I think i laughed at him and asked why he would joke about that. I completely 100% didn’t have any idea he was even married…. He proceeded to show me his ring, wedding pictures and his paperwork… 

He knew this girl 6 months, they dated in college. They then decided on a whim to get married the day they graduated college. They went to the courthouse. She wore a prom dress and they got married. Then, they went to Hawaii to visit his sister and hopefully find jobs. He got a job, right here in Ohio, so he decided to come take it and his brand new wife didn’t want to leave Hawaii. They were married less than 30 days before divorce proceedings started. Would have been nice to get that information up front…..

So yea, i slept with a married dude, and yea, my friends think its hilarious.

Update about tinder!

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So tinder has cute little mistletoe on top of the guys for the holidays AND if you shake your tinder it snows.

Its the little things that make me happy.

Pof vs. Tinder vs. Match.com vs. okcupid

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Okay, here’s the review! I can only bring you a review of the sites i have used. So sorry chemistry.com…. lol

Plenty of fish.com- ( free)This site i started using at age 18, and have basically used it since. Its honestly where i have had the most luck. I have found a few boyfriends that i have dated for 8 months -1 year on this site. Its basically traditional dating website style. They also have a “match” feature that’s similar to tinder. Lately however, i haven’t had much luck on the site. It seems like less and less guys are using it? Or i am just not as interesting? hahah

Match.com-(this costs money, not friggen cheap, either)- Honestly…. I got very few if any messages on this site. I sent out over 5 a month as per the guarantee. It doesn’t seem like anyone is still a member!!! At least in my age group. I have talked with a few friends who had similar problems. I find it hard to believe that my pof profile gets around 10-15 messages a week and my match got 1-5 over a 6 month period! I call this a serious waste of money. LAME! (Side note- TWO of my very good friends found guys on here…. They have been together for 4 years each) The reason i wonder if anyone is still on…. I saw my friends boyfriends non-updated profile on my search 4 years later. Old photos. Old info. match keeps their old members up there even when they have canceled service! LAME!!!!

Tinder-( free)- I believe this is an app only. This is the latest trend in online dating it seems. At least to me. Its designed so you see a photo of someone and you can make a snap decision on whether to like or dislike them. You can also click on that photo and see a few more and a small description. The photos have to be from Facebook and it also shows you how many interests and friends you have in common off of Facebook. YES, it is very superficial. YES many guys think this is a hookup site and girls see it as a fun new dating site. Also, my guy friend says many porn girls contact him on there for…less than honest intentions. Whats funny is that i have met a country singer, professional baseball players, professional soccer players… Some guys seem to be saying the same things… KCCO is their favorite. Shout out to the Chive.com! lol I also see quite a few guys state that they are alpha males, is that a new trend? Anyways, only if you hit like AND they like your profile as well that you can chat with each other. I like this feature because you don’t have to ignore someone you aren’t interested in. Also, beware if you are a traveler! Tinder is messed up! If you go on vacation, it will update the closeness to you, but then when you go home, you still get guys from where ever you were. I am getting matched with guys in Texas, when i live in Ohio…..GREAT!  Hookup app or not, its defiantly addicting. 

Okcupid-(free)- This site uses a combination of a profile and really odd questions to give you three matching percentages with a person. The first is like the person, friend the person and enemy the person. The enemy people talk to me the most it seems. Its all about your opinion on things. I guess that can help relationships, some people like others who challenge them though. I get about the same amount of weirdos as i did on other sites. That being said, this is one of my friend’s favorite sites to meet someone off of. Its just not mine! haha

PICK YOUR POISON! hahah

Giggles

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Lets have a laugh here, since christmas is crazy, work is crazy and i just want to sleep! Oh yea, and i got lasik, thats the other reason i have been slow to write!

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Hope u needed a laugh! I hope to get in a good post i have been working on for a very long time tomorrow!

11 Men to date before settling down article

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As always, i am reading articles on love, dating and relationships. 

This one caught my eye today….

http://glo.msn.com/relationships/men-to-date-before-you-settle-down-8891.gallery#!stackState=0__%2Frelationships%2Fmen-to-date-before-you-settle-down-8891.gallery

Its titled “11 men to date before settling down”. Sounds good to me!

1. the artist- I dont think i have truely dated one of these guys, but i did date a guy that played the guitar. AND by play the guitar, i mean he knew 3 songs and would play them over and over to me till i wanted to shoot myself in the head as i sat and smiled. LOL Too sensitive for me.

2. The life of the party- I honestly am not always attracted to these guys. They usually have a drinking problem. hahah Plus, i like to be the life of the party! 😉

3. the daredevil- Well considering i myself have been skydiving, bungee jumping and traveled to other countries by myself, i would consider myself a bit of an adrenaline junkie. I haven’t found him yet…

4. The Aeshete- ummm confession: i don’t even know that word.I guess dating a guy who wants to be a sommelier is the closest i have come on this one. 

5. the iconoclast- Well this is the same guy as the artist, he was a vegetarian, hacky sack playing, backpacking hippie. I was 15, give me a break!

6. The Younger Man- NOPE! I doubt this will ever happen. 

7. The Older Man- always. I need to be at least half his age +7. You have to follow that rule. 

8. The Jock- Well, he was obsessed with working out, and eating right. He was also a UPS Driver ( I LOVEEE a man in uniform) I found out years later he has gone vegan, lives in Austin Texas and is in school to be a vegan chef. Guess you never really know people?

9.The Rebel- Hmm i try, but at heart i don’t agree with someone who does things just to piss someone else off. This never ends well in my opinion.

10. The Player- I Steer well clear of suave guys. honestly, i am creeped out. (See post about guy who bragged about how many girls he slept with. I ran)

11. the nice guy- hmm well if they are too nice, they wont challenge me. Sometimes i feel like these guys are trying too hard. 

 

They should have had the redneck/cowboy on there! Oh well. I guess this brings me to what my type is…I guess i have no friggen clue! DAMN!

I guess i have a few guys on this list left to date. Better get going…

 

Moderation

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So once you are talking with someone off line (through texts, phone, etc), its very important to not forget about them. Its also very important to not text them a ridiculous amount. How many texts a day is normal? I guess the normal doesn’t bother me. What the problem is…. is when you send someone about 6 or 7 texts in a row without a response….. (its not that i don’t like this guy, i just have a job and shit to do, hahaha that’s a total contradiction of my opinion that a text takes around 20 seconds to send and i don’t know anyone too busy for that!)

 

 

What do you guys think!?!!