British Barry

Alright, I have been lacking on my actual material of telling you about the dates i have gone on. So here we go, this is a new story for you! 

So i met a guy on tinder called Barry (remember: names are changed on here). He was British, and oddly enough a spitting image of Scot Mills from BBC Radio 1. (I listen to British radio because there are no commercials!!!). He came over to the states at the age of 5 but still had a pretty good accent. So I invited him over to an impromptu bonfire in my backyard with my friends M & J (Who got married a couple weeks later!! Congrats!!!). He seemed quite funny and interesting at the fire. I was intrigued! After M & J left, he even was a good kisser, WHOOO!!! 

We went on a few more dates over the course of a few weeks. It started to fizzle out quickly for me. He only wanted to talk about things that were incredibly boring to me….He talked about ghost hunting and being possessed for like 30 minutes over a lunch once even though i was clearly rolling my eyes with boredom and kept trying to change the subject. He couldn’t tell me any hobbies that we had in common and seemed to not actually listen to me. A day after i told him i wasn’t a big fan of going to the movies for dates, because i liked to get to know the person, guess what? He took me to the movies…. UMM?

One day he asked me to meet him for lunch, it was last minute, so i left work and went to lunch. I had told him before that i didn’t really care for panera (I try to stay away from breads as much as possible), he took me there, then didn’t offer to pay. Then i was bored out of my mind. 

Even with his lack of great conversation, I was thinking about it one day and i was stumped to think of any time where he actually asked me a question about my life, hobbies, family, etc. He was making no real effort to get to know me. I told him about this, and i gave him one more date…he asked one question. Yea, a British accent cannot mask a general lack of conversational understanding.

Dates

Alright, so lets talk first dates. Well, dates at all. I would lump dates into categories.

Dinner date- These are my pick for best first dates. This way you can get to know someone sufficiently, you get time to talk, but these leave little room for physical contact. They can also be awful if the person is dull and you can’t get out! Then, there is the issue of who is paying? And how do you choose where to go is always a chore!

Drinks- This seems to be the new thing in dating. Just go for drinks to see if you like the person. This gives an indeterminate amount of time. It could lead to your date drinking WAY too much, but it does allow you to leave a bit better than a full dinner. It keeps the financial responsibility low as well. If it doesn’t work, the guy (usually) isn’t out too much money. If it does work however, you can be at the bar late and close the place (as I did Saturday night)! I don’t mind this for a first date, although I prefer dinner, but later on in the relationship it also works, but it usually ends up the two of you on the couch with a 6 pack instead of the bar.

Coffee- Okay, well I think this is a cop-out! This isn’t a real date. First off, I don’t drink coffee. Second, it’s weird. It ends up feeling more like a job interview to me. It’s also kind of cheap. Okay and

Lunch date- yes I have had one of these as a first date before! It went well, but he never called. I think it’s because it also feels like a job interview. I think there might be something with the whole first dates during the day time thing. They can really suck. Emphasis on CAN though.

Activity dates-These are my favorite dates. They can be simple like going to the arcade or the zoo or something. I have tons of ideas for these from the art museum to shooting guns. Sometimes these don’t facilitate talking, may cost more and are hard to judge for how to choose for a first date. These really let you get to know someone though. Are they up for anything? Are they athletic or artsy or interested in the same things you are? Do they want to try new things? I think it really lets you learn things about someone that they might not come out and say.

Movie date- I guess this is technically an activity date, but it gets its own category. Avoid this for a first date, please! All kinds of things can go wrong. The only time I would allow this is if you went out to dinner, both talked about a movie you wanted to see and the date was going awesome, then go out for a movie after. Other than that, this date allows minimum talking and can be extremely awkward for physical affection. If you don’t want him to touch you, he will probably put his arm around you. Then you have to sit for 2 hours wishing his sweaty hand wasn’t so close to your face. Hahaha Plus, you could end up wishing for 2 hours that you were anywhere else in the world at that moment. Once you know someone well, these dates are perfectly fine! At some point you stop having so much stuff to talk about anyway and a movie is a nice relaxing time to enjoy together.

Double date- Please avoid this for a first date. It’s so awkwardddddd. Usually 3 people know each other and one is left out of that. Leave this for later!

Date with friends- See above, this is also weird. One friend decided to invite someone she was talking to online to a sports bar when we were watching football as a group. She showed us a pic and then the date showed up and looked nothing like the photo. I am sure It was extremely awkward for the date as well. A bunch of people they don’t know and they just wanted to get to know my friend. Well, let’s just say, there was no second date.

 

What is your favorite first date? How about later?

Pof vs. Tinder vs. Match.com vs. okcupid

Okay, here’s the review! I can only bring you a review of the sites i have used. So sorry chemistry.com…. lol

Plenty of fish.com- ( free)This site i started using at age 18, and have basically used it since. Its honestly where i have had the most luck. I have found a few boyfriends that i have dated for 8 months -1 year on this site. Its basically traditional dating website style. They also have a “match” feature that’s similar to tinder. Lately however, i haven’t had much luck on the site. It seems like less and less guys are using it? Or i am just not as interesting? hahah

Match.com-(this costs money, not friggen cheap, either)- Honestly…. I got very few if any messages on this site. I sent out over 5 a month as per the guarantee. It doesn’t seem like anyone is still a member!!! At least in my age group. I have talked with a few friends who had similar problems. I find it hard to believe that my pof profile gets around 10-15 messages a week and my match got 1-5 over a 6 month period! I call this a serious waste of money. LAME! (Side note- TWO of my very good friends found guys on here…. They have been together for 4 years each) The reason i wonder if anyone is still on…. I saw my friends boyfriends non-updated profile on my search 4 years later. Old photos. Old info. match keeps their old members up there even when they have canceled service! LAME!!!!

Tinder-( free)- I believe this is an app only. This is the latest trend in online dating it seems. At least to me. Its designed so you see a photo of someone and you can make a snap decision on whether to like or dislike them. You can also click on that photo and see a few more and a small description. The photos have to be from Facebook and it also shows you how many interests and friends you have in common off of Facebook. YES, it is very superficial. YES many guys think this is a hookup site and girls see it as a fun new dating site. Also, my guy friend says many porn girls contact him on there for…less than honest intentions. Whats funny is that i have met a country singer, professional baseball players, professional soccer players… Some guys seem to be saying the same things… KCCO is their favorite. Shout out to the Chive.com! lol I also see quite a few guys state that they are alpha males, is that a new trend? Anyways, only if you hit like AND they like your profile as well that you can chat with each other. I like this feature because you don’t have to ignore someone you aren’t interested in. Also, beware if you are a traveler! Tinder is messed up! If you go on vacation, it will update the closeness to you, but then when you go home, you still get guys from where ever you were. I am getting matched with guys in Texas, when i live in Ohio…..GREAT!  Hookup app or not, its defiantly addicting. 

Okcupid-(free)- This site uses a combination of a profile and really odd questions to give you three matching percentages with a person. The first is like the person, friend the person and enemy the person. The enemy people talk to me the most it seems. Its all about your opinion on things. I guess that can help relationships, some people like others who challenge them though. I get about the same amount of weirdos as i did on other sites. That being said, this is one of my friend’s favorite sites to meet someone off of. Its just not mine! haha

PICK YOUR POISON! hahah